Whod you bang
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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