I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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