everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
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