they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
