it wasn't lemon gatorade
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Randomize
