I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
