I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
