love makes seman taste better
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
