Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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