I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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