how can u be prego again
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize