FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
