youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
try to milk me bitch
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
