I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize