I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
we're so committed to being not committed
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize