What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
