Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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