Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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