Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
