we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
