When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
