its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
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