No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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