I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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