She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
