I hate your face
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
