I wish I could punch you in the face.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
