his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
