The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
