I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Randomize
