Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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