he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
