I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize