Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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