They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
