why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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