Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize