she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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