I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize