Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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