I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
