she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
