No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
