Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
