there was a trapeze. enough said
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
