like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
