Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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