she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
