I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize