why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
