Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize