i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
