she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
