why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
