Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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