i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Randomize
