just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
