New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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