i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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