Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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