So drunk its hurt
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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