Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Girls should come with a carfax report
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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