Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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