Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
