So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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