How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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